


try to convince me that i'm not drowning

by fuckingkinney



Category: The Killing
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 19:36:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4637637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckingkinney/pseuds/fuckingkinney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 4.01.</p><p>The curtain is pulled back sharply and they look each other in the eyes, until they don’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	try to convince me that i'm not drowning

**Author's Note:**

> I know this wouldn't have ever happened, but... I really wanted it to.  
> Spoilers, for anyone that hasn't watched season 4, obviously, but I've just finished binge watching and I'm kinda obsessed with Linden/Holder.

She feels numb.

The water is turning red and all she can do _stare_ as it disappears down the drain as though it had never existed. As though she’d never shot him dead.

Holder has gone, told her that he’d deal with what they’d done.

What _they’d_ done.

Sarah doesn’t remember forcing the gun in his hands, doesn’t remember telling him to _shoot him_. It’d all been her, and that was the way it remained. He’d told her to stop, _begged_ her to just put the gun down and they could have him arrested for his crimes. 

Now Skinner was in among the cemetery he had created and the girls would never be found. All because she hadn’t been able to keep control of her emotions, something she’d been _trained_ to do for too many years. It never had worked though, had it?

She wasn’t aware her eyes had been closed until she heard a noise, the sound of clothes hitting the floor from outside of the shower curtain she’d hidden herself behind. 

“Holder?” There’s no possibility of it being anyone else, but she has to be _certain_. No response follows and there’s a moment, a pause, in which her body tenses up without her permission. _Fear_.

The curtain is pulled back sharply and they look each other in the eyes, until they don’t.

He’s covered in blood and dirt, the two mix together all too quickly as water pours down above them. He’s standing too close and Linden feels overwhelmed from _this_ more than the shots she’d fired. His mouth is in a line, eyes glassy and what she’d give to be able to pry his mind open, rattle around in there until she uncovered everything he’s thinking.

“It’s handled,” he finally speaks and she barely hears him over the sound of the water, the white noise that echoes in her ears.

She doesn’t thank him, doesn’t say anything as she takes a step back, lets her back press against the tiles. It’s a sharp cold compared to the burn of the water, skin red from where she’d turned it on too high. Just to make sure she kept feeling. Just to make sure she was _able_ to do so.

Why was he still here? That was what she was struggling with. No one knew either of them were here, he could have left. She wouldn’t have blamed him, wouldn’t have held it against him.

Yet Holder is moving forward anyway, eyes closing and head tilting back as it rains down on him. It’s mesmerizing and Linden can’t tear her gaze away until he’s staring at her.

It’s cliché to say it all happened in slow motion, that she didn’t know it would happen until it did. There’s a part of her that was _expecting_ it, that had since he’d mentioned his celibacy. She would have taken it as a challenge if she knew she couldn’t have it.

Now Holder’s there, gripping a hold of her sides and reeling her in. Fingernails dig into his shoulders, and she imagines they hurt more than the awkward position he’s allowed himself to be put into. For her. _Always for her_. 

There’s heat on her face, and a part of her can’t tell if it’s the water or the way she finally sobs against his mouth. His grip only tightens, mouth ghosting from her own to her forehead.

“I’ve got you,” he repeats the words and a part of her thinks she’ll never believe them, not the way he _wants_ heer to – but she believes him, and that’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction in ages, even if this isn't very long, so any and all feedback would really be appreciated! xo


End file.
